Mind-numbing

     I don't know about the rest of you, but for me today has just been one of those days that I wish could have turned out different. After waking up a bit early to do some grocery shopping with the hubs I had to go take a final exam for Personal Financial Planning. Which wasn't too bad, but now that it's out of the way, the next exam up is the one that's going to be the hardest- thank goodness it's Monday and I have the whole weekend to try to prepare! But of course, I'm still stressing out about it, because hey, that's just what I do. But now, on top of all of the static already in my head, my heart is sunk from the news about the school shooting in Connecticut. I know people who have lost children, and I know that it is a horrible, horrible pain to have to bear. I can't fathom how hard it is for that community to try to pick up the pieces of what happened this morning.
     My heart also can't help but ache for the shooter himself. He had no excuse for his actions, but if anyone can rationalize killing their own mother, other school workers, and young children so that it is not only acceptable, but necessary, then they have some serious issues. If only he had had some one to talk to or perhaps even therapy, this may have never happened. Maybe he could have lived a normal life and been a functioning member of society. I've read so many posts on social media calling the shooter names and saying that he deserves to rot in Hell,  but I can't do that myself. Yes, his actions made him a monster, and if he had survived, I would have been all for capitol punishment for his actions. However, monsters are made. This young man was once his mother's son, a brother. In today's society it is so easy to feel distanced from people that when some one starts having mental instabilities and lapses in judgement, either no one notices or the person retreats farther into themselves. The shooter was 20, the same age that I am for another week, which gives me shivers; I just can't picture anyone being able to do what he did, regardless of whatever he was trying to deal with. I am curious about how his brother is doing, and I feel so horrible for him- I can only imagine what he is having to deal with himself. I am interested to know what provoked the shooter's  attack- but the world may never know. 
    My heart goes out to the people of Sandy Hook and I hope that God covers their hearts like a balm in this confusing, despairing time. There are no words that can bring back any of those who were lost, but hopefully some of the confusion about what happened can be cleared and those who were lost can be honored.